Funerals are often somber events, and there’s an expectation for those attending to dress appropriately to show respect for the deceased and their family. However, the definition of “appropriate” can vary, and over the years, I’ve noticed a range of outfits at funerals—some traditional, some unconventional, and some that might make you do a double take.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the various types of attire I’ve witnessed at funerals and reflect on the evolving dress code for these solemn occasions. Whether you’ve been to several or are attending your first funeral, this exploration might shed light on the range of outfits people wear and why it’s essential to think about the tone of the service when dressing for the occasion.
1. Traditional Black Attire
The classic funeral attire is often what you’d expect—black suits, dresses, and slacks. This style has long been the go-to for funerals, as black symbolizes mourning and respect. I’ve attended many funerals where almost everyone was dressed in formal or semi-formal black clothing. Men often wear dark suits with ties, and women typically choose conservative black dresses or suits.
Why it works:
- It shows reverence and respect for the occasion.
- It’s a universally accepted color for mourning in many cultures.
2. More Casual Yet Respectful Outfits
In more recent years, some people have opted for more casual yet still respectful outfits. I’ve seen attendees wear nice slacks or skirts with button-down shirts or blouses. Some men forgo the full suit and wear dark chinos with a dress shirt, while women might choose a knee-length dress in muted tones like navy, gray, or burgundy.
Why it works:
- The casual option works well for less formal funeral services, such as those held at homes, crematoriums, or memorial services.
- It balances respect for the event while considering the comfort of those attending.
3. Cultural or Religious Attire
At some funerals, especially those belonging to particular religious or cultural groups, people wear traditional attire that reflects their heritage. For example, I’ve attended funerals where people wore kimonos for a Japanese funeral, or where attendees wore brightly colored clothing to celebrate the life of someone from a different cultural background. In some cases, the family requests people to wear attire that reflects the deceased’s cultural or personal preferences.
Why it works:
- It shows respect for the traditions and beliefs of the family.
- It offers an opportunity for personal expression in an otherwise somber event.
4. Bold Colors and Patterns
Although black is traditionally the color of mourning, I’ve also seen people at funerals wear colorful or patterned clothes. At a recent celebration of life service I attended, attendees were encouraged to wear colors that represented the deceased’s personality, like blue or green. Some attendees even wore floral prints and other bright patterns, which gave the service a slightly more upbeat and personalized tone.
Why it works:
- It honors the individual by reflecting their personal preferences or life’s work.
- In “celebration of life” services, bright colors can create a positive and joyful atmosphere, celebrating the deceased’s legacy.
5. Athleisure or Very Casual Wear
While most funerals expect a level of formality, I’ve also encountered instances where attendees wore very casual clothing, like jeans, t-shirts, or athleisure. In one case, a person wore sweatpants and a hoodie to a memorial service. While this might seem surprising, it can happen in situations where the family has requested a more laid-back or informal tone for the service. Some people may not have access to formal clothing or might feel that such an event is more about personal expression than following conventional norms.
Why it works:
- In informal memorials or celebrations of life, the focus might be more on comfort and expressing individuality than on traditional dress codes.
- It can reflect the casual style and personality of the deceased.
6. Uniforms or Service Dress
For military, first responders, or other service-oriented funerals, it’s common to see attendees dressed in their official uniforms or service attire. I’ve seen military personnel in full dress uniform, which is particularly common at military funerals or services for veterans. Police officers, firefighters, and medical professionals sometimes also attend funerals in their uniforms to honor a colleague or loved one.
Why it works:
- Uniforms are a symbol of honor and respect, especially when honoring someone who served in the military or another service field.
- It offers a visual representation of solidarity and respect from peers or colleagues.
7. Non-Traditional Footwear
Though formal shoes are the most common choice for funerals, I’ve seen some people choose non-traditional footwear, such as sneakers or sandals. In certain settings, especially those where comfort is paramount—like outdoor services or walking memorials—people opt for more practical shoes. While this might be more common at celebrations of life, it can sometimes occur at more traditional funerals too.
Why it works:
- Comfort is key, particularly in settings where the service involves a lot of standing or walking.
- It may reflect a more modern, laid-back approach to attending funerals.
8. Personalized Accessories
At one funeral I attended, family members requested attendees to wear an accessory that had special significance to the deceased. Some people wore pins with the deceased’s picture, while others wore hats or scarves that the deceased had loved. This gave the service a more personalized feel and allowed people to honor the individual in a meaningful way.
Why it works:
- Personalized accessories can offer an emotional connection and allow guests to feel involved in the process of honoring the deceased.
- It adds a layer of uniqueness to the funeral and helps personalize the memorial.
What people wear to funerals can be as varied as the people attending them. Whether it’s traditional black attire, cultural garments, or even bright colors for a celebration of life, the key is to approach the occasion with respect and consideration for the deceased and their family. As funerals become more personalized and diverse, it’s important to recognize that what’s considered “appropriate” is evolving, and that ultimately, the best choice is attire that reflects your personal relationship with the deceased while showing respect for the event.
The next time you attend a funeral, think about the tone and wishes of the family. After all, funerals are about honoring a life, and what you wear should reflect that personal and meaningful tribute.